Sometimes I embrace the doubt I have of getting into graduate school and start to dream about the other possibilities. I imagine applying for jobs in San Fransisco or Washington DC. I dream of applying for JET or any teaching abroad program in Japan, China, and Korea. I envision myself in a completely new environment next year, with new adventures, experiences, and growth. All of my fantasies have to do with me being in a city, being surrounded by diversity, challenging myself each day with something new. Some days I want to throw away my hope of getting a masters for something completely new.
Once Sarah asked me what I want for my future, and I baffled her by not having a single concrete thing to say other than, "I want to be happy." I guess despite taking steps toward the material, I am still swimming toward an ephemeral goal.
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